I Could Be Worse
Dear, I could be worse. That’s one of my favorite
sayings. These are the first things that come to
mind when I realize how much it hurt. I had no
right to forget. While I know I could live happily,
it’s like I can never fully escape. It’s hard to explain:
I don’t feel anything anymore. I carry two empty
bowls I’ve had to repeatedly fill on my own. I may
never make sense of cruelty, but I hope you have
the guts to do it. Sometimes I imagine life without
goodbye. I didn’t cry. It doesn’t change: I was born.
I was a miracle. Why is there no word for this feeling?
It will be your salvation too. When you reach the place
that you recognize entirely, you will thrive. You have
the capacity to fill – looking at the sky and the land and
the trees and the buildings and the streets – finally, finally.